Down the line
Successful men have high sex drives. It is not clear whether the it is the high sex drive that makes them successful or vice versa.
John Terry is currently being vilified for reasons which are already well documented but he is neither the first nor the last successful young man to be caught with his tackle in the wrong penalty area. The list is very long.
The current England captain , Rio Ferdinand and his friends Frank Lampard and Kieron Dyer starred in a famous sex movie shot in Ayia Nappa a few years ago.
David Beckham has had a few sex-related allegations – the most memorable one being the Rebecca Loos affair.
Remember Wayne Rooney and “Grannygate”. That particular affair highlighted not-only footballers’ high sex-drives but the fact that in the brain department, Rooney and his chums only pose a danger to themselves. Rooney had sex with Charlotte Glover, a granny-prostitute and mother of six, then he sent her a card which read “ To Charlotte, I shagged you on 28th December. Lots of Love, Wayne Rooney.” When Rooney retires from football, it seems that there is already a career waiting in the Greeting Card industry.
Rooney also starred in a US escapade with teammates Ronaldo, Anderson and Nani. This escapade involved an amazing booze-fuelled sex-romp with two famous sisters, a Marilyn Monroe wannabe and a goat. (Allegedly a Nani goat.)
Mr Nice Guy Gary Linenker was divorced by his wife of 20 years for alleged serial infidelity.
Former England manager Sven Goran Eriksson also had difficulty keeping it in his trousers. He screwed the former FA harpie, Faria Alam , as well as that tasty little morsel of Swedish smorgasbord, Ulrika Jonsson. The incestuous nature of the footballing industry was further highlighted by another of Ulrika’s “special friends”, Stan “Dogger” Collymore who had a fascination for not-only knocking women about but for watching couples have sex in pub car parks.
Manchester United chairman Martin Edwards was cautioned for spying on a lady in a Cheshire health club toilet cubicle.
More recently, Ashley Cole strayed and bagged some professional lovely in a hotel room – even though he had the foxy Cheryl at home.
Ten years ago, Arsenal and England midfielder and Chelsea coach Graham Rix was sentenced to twelve months in prison in March 1999, for having underage sex with a 15-year-old girl who he allegedly plied with drink and drugs in a hotel room before having sex with her.
How about that video of Dwight Yorke and Mark Bosnich dressed in a skirt enjoying a sex orgy with four women and a variety of S&M equipment?
Have you noticed how David Pleat has quietly sneaked back into football commentating? He resigned as Spurs manager after having been caught kerb-crawling. He had been cautioned three times.
The sainted Bobby Moore, captain of England left his first wife for air hostess, Stephanie Parlane.
Tommy Docherty was manager at Manchester United when he had an affair with the physio’s wife and then left his own wife and four children.
George Best’s philandering ways are also well documented, as are Paul Gascoyne’s difficulties. Those two are not alone – there are a few more eminent footballers who are connoisseurs of the grape, hop or the Colombian nose powder: Paul Merson, Willie Johnson, Rio “forgetful” Ferdinand, Chelsea’s goalie, Mutu and most famously Diego Maradonna.
What about Brazilian Ronaldo picking up three prostitutes and then discovering that they were men?
The above list is by no means complete and those are just the ones who have been caught.
Last week Fabio Capello said “As a captain with the team, John Terry has displayed extremely positive behaviour. However, I have to take into account other considerations and what is best for all of the England squad. What is best for all of the England team has inspired my choice.”
Fabio Capello is wrong; The ideal man to lead England obviously has to be a lying, kerb-crawling alcoholic thug with a penchant for prostitutes, extra-marital affairs and Wacky dust.
Rio Ferdinand? It’s a good start.












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