‘Politics’ Archives
Too much F*****g Democracy!
"Where was I?" Listening to Nick Clegg bang on about Proportional Representation is marginally less interesting than the door-step rant of a Jehovah's Witness, an article about the England football team or a Ricky Gervais "comedy" show. By the fifth minute, I had the urge to cut-off my ears and nail my scrotum to a Rottweiler's food bowl. Enough! Why don't we just stop pussyfooting about, vote and then divide the votes among the candidates. I don't care who represents me, as long as he is [...]
FCNK – Fur Coat, No Knickers
British politics are cyclical and there are two views as to the nature of the cycle. One is that Labour is in power for a bit and then the Conservatives come along with lots of shovels and clear up the mess. The other view is that it is Labour politicians who wield the shovels after the Conservatives' turn. There is another other great political constant , not-only in British politics but worldwide. Ultimately, all party leaders fail - as do their parties. Then the other lot make an [...]
Someone shut Obama up.
"Oil - an American addiction" President Obama is on a 2-day visit to Mississippi, Florida and Alabama and thanks to his speech-writers, he has brought a new "angle" with him. In between talking tough and hoping to disperse oil with generous sprayings of testosterone, he struts between oil-covered Louisiana beaches in no-nonsense-macho display mode. He limbered up with "In the same way that our view of our vulnerabilities and our foreign policy was shaped profoundly by 9/11, I [...]
Obama – Oil spill is Cameron’s fault.
Q: What do you call something black, thick and crude which ruins lives? A: Mr President. The oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico has now cost BP £1.1bn ($1.6bn) and the pressure on the oil giant is likely to intensify over the next few days. Over 51,000 claims have been submitted since the MC252 oil well blew up in the Gulf of Mexico in April, and more than 26,500 payments have already been made, totalling over £42 million ($62m). Meanwhile, the REAL (American) culprits appear [...]
Obama and his jingoist morons
The REAL face of American BP This is directed at all Americans who (obviously) can read and those whose computer screens are not too obscured by their own drool or by greasy Big Mac smears as they run their finger along the screen while they read. American have an image of the Brits as an "arrogant" race which thinks that it is always right. Our image of the Americans is much kinder. We think of them as uneducated, fat, loud, opinionated and parochial - for instance, only 20% of them have [...]
Praise is the Motivation.
I published the story below about a year ago but make no apologies for repeating it: Three eminent gentlemen were on the 18th green -just about to complete an afternoon of golf. There was an eminent architect, an eminent surgeon and their Member of Parliament. The men were accompanied by their dogs. The architect said to the other two, " Watch this!" as he called his dog. " Sliderule! Here boy! Sliderule! Go boy!" Sliderule was a solid Black Labrador and he spent a few [...]
Say it again, Sam
Samantha Cameron will certainly be useful to DC in providing him with much-needed street-cred. Our Sam sports a dolphin tattoo on her right ankle and as a Bristol art student she used to hang-out in the same pub as trip-hop artist Tricky. An old neighbour of the Camerons from their Notting Hill days recalls saying to Samantha a few years ago that the next time the removal trucks arrived at their address it would probably be to take their stuff to No 10 Downing STreet. Sam replied "I fucking [...]
Cameron’s first time.
This afternoon: The very first Prime Minister's Question Time of the new Parliament. Will there be the usual Punch and Judy nonsense? We do hope so. Will Harriet Harman be gentle with DC? This morning has already seen Westminster moaning about expenses and the bureaucracy that is IPSA. Clegg still carries that slightly apologetic air, whereas Vince Cable looks increasingly like the grumpy Waldorf from the Muppet balcony. The ginger kid who has just been appointed Cabinet Secretary will [...]
Next batch of Peers
Published by No 10 Downing Street 28 May 2010 Peerages, honours and appointments The previous Prime Minister (the Rt Hon Gordon Brown MP) undertook a process to recommend to the Queen new party-political life peerages. This consisted of working peers from each party and, as is customary at the end of a Parliament, a dissolution list for former MPs. The Queen has been graciously pleased to signify Her intention of conferring Peerages of the United Kingdom for Life upon the [...]
“I’d walk a million miles……”
" Gaffe-prone? Me? Not at all. By the way, why do you hold your hands like this when you sing Mammy?" Gordon Brown waited 10 years for a crack at the top job. During that time, the United Kingdom enjoyed the fruits and prudence of Ken Clarke's final Conservative budget. The posturing Iron Chancellor gave no nod either in Ken's direction or even in the direction of the Global Economy. Both had made him look good and deserved his acknowledgement but the Global Economy would not come to [...]
Cameron Sizzles
What a show it was! David Cameron all shiny and polished in his Saville Row suit and spanking brand new Shakin' Stevens hairdo. Nick Clegg (in the middle again) looking like a Polytechnic student who'd been dressed by his mum for his very first Work Experience interview. Gordon Brown appeared to be leaning on his lectern like a supergrass who'd spent the day having the shit kicked out of him by Gene Hunt. David Dumbledore was the evening's host and question-master. The Shaun of the Dead [...]
Gordon the Goofer Part 2
" So how about a Damehood, a ride in the Jag AND new double-glazing?" Even before it all kicked-off, this mini-tragedy had the all edgy qualities of Borat at a W.I meeting. The Prologue had it all. We witnessed not-only the social skills of Borat, the communication skills of an accountant-farmer, the smile of a tomcat regurgitating a fur-ball and the dress-sense of a demobbed Albanian but there was a co-star! The co-star was an opinionated grandmother in a bizarre red-lapelled [...]
Commie Credibility
After last night's debate between our political leaders, it was good to see David Cameron, stepping up to the mark and looking and sounding a bit more of a leader. We were all expecting great things from him because of his performances at the Dispatch Box and his "note-free" speeches to Conference. However, the Dispatch Box only demands short paragraphs, delivered at machine-gun speed. The relaxed atmosphere at Conference, with a "tame" audience is a million miles away from close scrutiny by [...]
Send out the Clowns
Your Prime Minister Gordon Brown and the New Labour inepts are very fond of statistics. Most of the time, their statistics are "weighted", "massaged" or wrong. Their presentation is often designed to mislead. Here are some simple numbers which clearly show New Labour's main "successes". They came to power in 1997 and that is probably the best starting point: 1. INFLATION. 1997 2.5% , 2010 3.5% 2. UNEMPLOYMENT.1997 2million , 2010 2.5million 3. NATIONAL DEBT. 1997 42% of GDP, [...]
Goldman Sachs on the run
"Hey wise guy! Wanna buy any synthetic collateralised debt obligations?" Over the last few years, I have written a great deal about Goldman Sachs and its Svengali-like hold over successive U.S Governments. Some of what I've written remains on this site. Hopefully, President Obama's current initiative, in tandem with the SEC is the dawn of a new relationship between Government and the banking industry. It seems that the "minders" Goldman Sachs used to have at U.S. Government level [...]
Clegg Rules.
I have just finished reading the reviews of last night's debate between our party leaders. It would seem that impartiality is a forgotten journalistic art. Either that of many of us were watching a different debate. For instance, the Commie red-tops such as the Daily Mirror have published reports indicating that Gordon Brown had "wiped the floor" with the other two leaders. No he didn't and I suggest that in future, the Mirror journos record their opinions after the event - otherwise the [...]
The Three Amigos
"Who are you calling c--t, c--t?" There is one thing that all three participants in tonight's election Debate have in common: none has ever been elected to the highest political office in the land. One of them however, has exercised squatters rights at No 10 Downing Street for quite a while but only because no-one had the courage to evict him. Those who did try have joined the "where are they now?" pile of political detritus which languishes in that forgotten twilight world, [...]
Another month – another meeting.
First, there was the notorious G20 junket. Then we had the Copenhagen Accord. Now we have another meeting. This time, it is the The High Level Advisory Group on Climate Change Financing, held today at 10 Downing Street, London. This meeting precedes the next meeting , which is the Cancun climate change conference later this year. Today's meeting was attended by political "big-hitters" such as Guyanan President Bharrat Jagdeo, Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg and Ethiopian Prime [...]
USA out.
There was a time when celebrities and politicians were falling over themselves in the mad rush for free publicity as they jetted into Port au Prince in Haiti. For a time, Haiti looked like a cross between a G20 meeting, the Oscars and a pile of rubble with a cast of frightened poor black people. Intense-looking surgeons and doctors speaking in strange English accents gave interviews and told us that there "wasn't enough". You name it and there wasn't enough of it. We were glued to our TV [...]
William Hague – a tribute
The article below appeared in the Daily Mirror on 5th March 201o and is reproduced here with the full permission of the author Brian Reade. When you have finished reading about William Hague, you may perceive that Brian Reade is probably not the Chairman of Hague Fan Club - and you would be right. I have been Socialist-bashing ever since I could open a notepad but for the sake of balance I do believe that we should have an insight into the lives and more-importantly, the characters of [...]
Michael Foot
Michael Foot made very few mistakes. The Press Association reports that Michael Foot, the bookish intellectual and anti-nuclear campaigner who led Britain's Labour Party to a disastrous defeat in 1983, died this morning. He was 96. Foot died at his home in north London following a long illness. Foot personified the socialist tendency in the Labour Party, which Tony Blair successfully erased when he won power at the head of a business-friendly, interventionist "New Labour." Yet Foot [...]
Cameron’s pussies
Let us start with a statement. The Rt Hon David Cameron MP should be our next Prime Minister. I do not mean "should" in any wishy-washy "if that's all right with you , chaps" sort of way. I mean it in that "I've seen his previous form, his experience, his pedigree and his leadership" way. In addition, I have worked-out the real reason why he appears to be allowing Gordon Brown to catch him in the opinion polls. It's all to do with the printed Press. On the Left, we have the might of [...]
Words from the No 10 Massive
"Brown reading his own speech" Gordon Brown's solutions to the joint problems of bank bonuses and the economy are somewhere in the future - and always will be. In the latest statement from No 10 Downing Street, he says that Ministers are committed to ensuring that banks which have taken Government loans, pay back “every last penny to the British tax payer". In a podcast discussing banks, Gordon Brown also says that this year’s 50 per cent tax on bank bonuses is part of the [...]
Octavius – over to you.
Badger Brown There are people who will vote for a politician because he has a pretty face, looks honest or has a good voice. What fires an important section of the electorate is not logic but emotion. Perception, prejudice and superficiality are the new Gods and it is only in recent years that politicians have become conscious of the fact that complicated economic and social policies are not the primary route to votes from an increasingly apathetic and intellectually [...]
It’s still all Greek.
The statement read out by Herman Van Rompuy after yesterday's Brussels summit of EU leaders resulted in a vague and uneasy feeling of dejà vu. It was last year's much-anticipated G20 conference which produced similar words to Van Rompuy's but it wasn't just the rhetoric - it was the worrying lack of content that was so familiar. "Determined and coordinated action" is just a sentiment and Angela Merkel's reference to another "meeting in March" only suggested that difficult decisions [...]
Octavius’ trouble and strife.
You may be forgiven for thinking that someone with a monicker like Octavius Black was a either a mad musician chained to a Gothic cathedral pipe-organ, a Hogwarts Master of the Dark Arts or maybe even a Transformer. He is none of those but he is quite a strong Centre of Influence within the Conservative Party. Here are some clues: He is a multi-millionaire who lives in Notting Hill. He is an Old Etonian and for a long time has been a frequent dinner guest at the Camerons'. Oh yes, [...]
Crying – the New Lying
Look out for the slight intake of breath accompanied by an almost imperceptible disbelieving shake of the head Then the slow downward look, followed by a sigh and the glance to the left or or a glance to the right right and maybe a light touch to the forehead or eye. The correct way to execute the entire manoeuvre is in total silence. End with another slight shake of the head and about five seconds'-worth of rapid blinking. However, for maximum points, a bit of glycerine on the [...]
George Osborne. Why?
You may have heard of the Bilderberg Group or the Bilderberg Conference. It is an annual gathering of 130 influential people from Europe and North America who spend a few days discussing world politics, economics and various cross-border issues. Heads of State attend the conference as do politicians, bankers, and directors of large businesses such as IBM and Shell. All are established men and women of influence. Reporters are excluded and although confidential minutes are taken, [...]
Cameron – is he a real or a random?
The General Election is only three months away and so it is now time to start thinking hard. The Labour Party is currently being judged on its leadership and the current state of the economy. The Conservative Party is being appraised on its promised leadership and its economic theory and hopes. The economy will continue to limp along no matter who is holding the tiller - and is so damaged that it is more-or-less a non-issue. Neither party can promise with any degree of [...]
Death of Concorde
Below are the final words of the crew of Air France Concorde Flight 4590 which crashed in flames nearly ten years ago. The crew were unaware that anything was wrong until they were informed by the Charles de Gaulle air tower. When you read this at normal speed, you will realise how little time it took from take-off to the crash which killed 109 people aboard the flight and four people on the ground. The trial stemming from the crash begins today. Continental Airlines, as well as five [...]
Curiouser and Curiouser!
"Peter Goldsmith? He was following orders." The rather unpredictable way that the Chilcot inquiry is shaping up suggests that a "top-down" approach to witness-questioning may have been far more effective approach. The inquiry began with the "foot-soldiers" and is gradually working its way up to Blair as the "top-of-the-bill" star of the show. The curent "bottom-up" approach has given Blair and his team of media-advisers and speech coaches time. Inevitably, they will have been [...]
Happy Holocaust Day
Wednesday 27th January is Holocaust Day and is the day which sees the perennial blossoming of the controversy surrounding the extermination of over 6.4 million Jews by the Germans. Every year, someone somewhere delivers a provocative statement which somehow finds its way onto the news wires, resulting in the inevitable outrage which has also become a significant and essential part of this important occasion. This year, Polish Bishop Tadeusz Pieronek, former head of the Polish [...]
Dysfunction, Dysfunction, Dysfunction
The First Division Association (FDA), the organisation which represents about 18,000 senior civil servants, diplomats and advisers has referred to the present government as "utterly dysfunctional". According to Jonathan Baume, General Secretary of the FDA, the primary reason for this brutal assessment appears to be "indecision" from Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister. It is said that several of the more fatalistic Ministers have more-or-less accepted that the current government's [...]
Phony War?
"Message for Gordon Brown!" I wager that very few of us normal citizens were aware of the fact that until today we were on a "substantial" terror alert. That has all changed because as from today, we are on a "severe" terror alert. The mysterious thing is that Alan Johnson, the Home Secretary is unable to tell us the reason for the sudden change in status recommended by the Joint Terrorism Analysis Centre. All that he would say was that there is no "immediate threat" of a terrorist [...]
Brown Whitewash?
Chilcot Inquiry During the latest Prime Minster's Question Time, Angus Robertson of the SNP asked Gordon Brown: "The Chilcot inquiry has heard that you were in the Iraq war inner circle and refused key payments for our troops on the front line. Will you confirm to the house that there is no impediment for you to seek a time to give evidence to the Chilcot inquiry before the general election?" Gordon Brown replied: "This is, as I said, a matter for the Chilcot inquiry. I have written to Sir [...]
Broken Dreams
Port au Prince is so badly damaged that the Haitians may well move their capital. About 200 years ago, Cap-Haïtien used to be the capital but in 1842, it was almost totally destroyed - by an earthquake. Television and newspaper photographs make Haiti look like a pile of rubble but it is a very beautiful place as I hope these photographs demonstrate. If you listen carefully, you will hear that the locals speak French and even nowadays, Haiti is a destination for ocean-going yachts. In [...]
Haiti
The Haiti quake, with a provisional magnitude of 7.0, was centred about 16 kilometres west of the capital and struck at about 4.45pm local time. The US Geological Survey said it was the largest quake ever recorded in the area. A series of aftershocks followed and more were expected, said seismologist David Wald. A large number of UN staff members were unaccounted for after the collapse of their five-storey headquarters. Among the missing was mission chief Hedi Annabi, who was in the [...]
ZZ stop.
"Islam4UK" I am a great respecter of Islam - in the same sense that I am a respecter of Roman Catholic Priests, Jehovah's Witnesses, FF bras, Gordon Brown and Disneyworld. Wootton Bassett has become a bit of a Lourdes-without-miracles but nevertheless, is still a magnet for coachloads of faux-mourners who know that an hour-or-two in the cold and rain may finally help them to achieve fame. You never know, the odd local reporter may walk up the line with his fluffy microphone and ask [...]
Cooking Hell!
"A typical pikey British meal - and it's ALWAYS shades of Orange!!" My wife and I are more than willing to give our 12 year-old daughter all manner of wholesomely nutritious treasures to enhance her crap-filled school lunchbox. Vinaigrette-dipped Kos lettuce-leaves with a scattering of Aga-roasted hazelnuts nestling on a slice or two of home-cured ham, maybe some Gruyere with a side-order of our own Indian Chutney, a sun-dried tomato or Cox's Orange Pippin and possibly some stuffed [...]
OOPs!
Have you wondered why no £144,520 p.a. Cabinet Minister supported Geoff "Buff" Hoon and his sidekick Patricia Hewitt. It's a mystery - but only if you don't understand the intricacies and gilt-edged rewards of a Cabinet Member's Final Salary Pension. Back door Gifts You may be forgiven for thinking that the juxtaposition of the phrase "backdoor gifts" and "politicians" in a Daily Mirror headline refers to some nefarious after-hours activity but on this occasion, it transpires that the [...]
Shagging Hell!
"Let those DUP bastards get on with it Jezza" Peter Robinson is taking a six-week holiday from his job as Ulster's First Minister. Good for him. His 59 year-old wife Iris has had an affair with a 19 year-old and she secured a £50K loan for her fancy man. She has now been banged up in a psychatric unit while the storm blows itself out. Peter Robinson has always been a decent man and does not need the po-faced ex-First Minister Lord David Trimble telling him to quit. Trimble always had [...]
…king Boris
Boris Johnson, the bumbling but oh-so-clever Mayor of London is set to be one of Labour's main targets in the run -up to the General Election. After all, he is all that the "ever so 'umble" Labourites despise. He is articulate, educated and went to a posh school. Plus he is descended from Royalty and not-only distantly-related to our Queen but because of another King's antics, he shares genes with his boss, Dave Cameron. Ken Livingstone tried and failed with the class-card so, make no [...]
Labour Economics
The new watchdog overseeing MPs' salaries from next year will itself cost over £6.5 million per annum to run. The Legg inquiry into MPs' expenses claims, has cost the taxpayer over £1 million. During this year (2009), MPs salaries, expenses and sundry "bolt-ons" have cost the taxpayer about £183 million. Next year the total equivalent outlay will cost the taxpayer at least £185 million and probably more if we factor-in the cost of the inevitable challenges by MPs. That's an increase [...]
Gordon’s 2010 Resolutions
"This time it's different" 1. Put General Election in Diary. 2. Fire my Media Consultant. 3. Put that Ainsworth bloke is uniform, give him a gun, a couple of bullets and send him to Helmand. 4. Try and get that Blair bastard in front of the beaks at the Hague. 5. Work on my smile and get rid of that "Would you like to see my rabbit, little girl" look. 6. Stop saying "Unlike the Party opposite"during PMQs. 7. Get friendly with Paddy Ashdown, otherwise those Eton twats [...]
Crimbo Limbo
This is the fag-end of a year which needs to be stubbed out as quickly as possible. The presents were as disappointing as ever, the bathroom scales are telling lies again, the Roses tin is down to the orange creams and the fridge is full of Tupperware boxes and foil-wraps which we'll bin next week. New Years Eve will never be the same since we found out that Jools Holland records his show in October and the TV is full of little-known newsreaders. Radio stations are inviting [...]
Twenty-one 2010 predictions
On 15th May 2008, I predicted the nationalisation of British Banks. On 20th April 2009, I predicted that by the end of the year the FTSE 100 would fall to below 2500. On 3rd November 2009, I predicted the collapse of the dollar and of the pound-sterling The first prediction has come to pass - in all but name. The third prediction is about to come true. The FTSE 100 prediction of 2500 was out by a factor of over 100% - so what happened? Quantitative Easing is what happened. Very [...]
Have the Tories blown it?
A ComRes poll, commissioned by the Independent appears to show that the TORIES are losing ground to Labour. The general flow of the poll is that voters do not think that the Conservatives offer an appealing alternative to Labour and the electorate also thinks that a Conservative government would mainly represent the interests of the well-off. The Conservatives have been trying to convince the electorate that public services such as the NHS would be safer in their hands but the poll shows that [...]
Blair the Invader
Tony Blair was a bad Prime Minister and his tenure at Downing Street was underpinned by nothing more than spin and window-dressing. He is now attempting to justify his illegal aiding and abetting of that insaniac George W Bush's mission to complete the Iraq job - or more specifically, his own father's (George Bush Snr's) failure to subdue Saddam in the 1990s. Blair's spinning habits have not changed at all and that is why he is suddenly acquiescing to the odd interview prior to his [...]
Janet and John Economics
The Chancellor of the Exchequer has been allowing the electorate to believe the fiction of "ring-fencing", consequently, we are beginning to think that the NHS and Education budgets are somehow 'protected'. Unfortunately, it appears that in many respects Health and Education do not need ring-fencing - just propping-up because they are failing. They are not failing because of too little management but because of too much management, too many management accounts and the [...]
Go George!
Yesterday, Alistair Darling, the Chancellor sounded like an undertaker reading a suicide note. When he finally sat down, George Osborne leapt to his feet and we all expected some action - if only to help us to ward off any residual thoughts of self-mutilation that we may have been experiencing. Although he had been taking notes throughout the Chancellors monotonic monologue, Prefect George missed the target. His reply to Darling had been pre-written and was obviously the work of a committee. [...]
NHS balls-up
Imagine that you were a New Labour Government and you were desperate to save money because you had badly screwed-up the economy by handing out too much money to the banks. Where is the first place that you would look in order to cut costs? The NHS of course! Easy target. If you had been stupid enough to hand the initial project to BT who then subcontracted to somewhere in the Indian sub-continent and Far East- specifically to outfits called Tech Mahindra or Fujitsu, and you had also handed [...]
Kelly Whitewash
It looks as if the inquest into the death of Dr David Kelly will be reopened so the that final doubts can be removed as to whether Dr Kelly did or did not commit suicide. Six eminent doctors are demanding a new inquiry. They are: Michael Powers QC who is a former coroner; trauma surgeon David Halpin; Andrew Rouse, an epidemiologist who established that deaths from cutting the ulnar artery – as claimed in Dr Kelly’s case – are extremely rare; Martin Birnstingl, another surgeon; [...]
“Classist Attitude”
Gordon Brown and New Labour are going to do the damnedest to portray David Cameron and his shadow cabinet as a bunch of toffs and public school yaboos who cannot possibly understand how poor people live and how they think - thus making them unfit to govern. The United Kingdom class attitudes follow exactly the same rules as racism. For instance, it appears that black people cannot be accused of being racist towards white people. The UK's anti-discrimination laws were designed to protect [...]
New Gordon
I admire Gordon Brown's political skills nearly as much as I admire Joseph Fritzl's parenting talents. However, during Prime Minister's Question Time yesterday , Gordon Brown looked far more relaxed and confident than I have ever seen him. Assuming the he had not been at the "sunshine in a bottle" stuff, he made Dave Cameron look quite ordinary. OK, he gave the same answers - which aren't really answers but questions to Cameron about Conservative policy but his attitude had shifted. There [...]
Scottish Freedom!
"Alex and friend talk balls." The Scottish National Party has launched its "national conversation" on Scotland's future. The trouble is that no-one's listening. It is a dead conversation - an ex-issue. It's as if they'd called a meeting to discuss Scottish apathy and no-one had turned up. The SNP is a minority administration and to move the idea of a referendum on Scottish devolution, it would need the support of other parties. The only other party which has so far expressed support is the [...]
Gary McKinnon
"Happy Thanksgiving, McKinnon" In a democracy, we elect Members of Parliament to whom we hand over our decision-making - otherwise, every political, social and economic decision would have to be made by referendum. Each one of our MPs votes on our behalf and in the main, decisions are made roughly in line with public opinion. The voter delegates day-to-day voting power to his or her MP. However, sometimes there are difficult issues - usually ones involving conscience, when MPs are allowed a [...]
Wunch of Bankers
The Walker Review on the corporate governance of banks recommends that FTSE 100-listed banks and the largest building societies should disclose in bands the number of "high end" employees, including executive board members (whose incomes are not a secret anyway). The bands would show the number of people taking home £1m to £2.5m, £2.5m to £5m, and £5m and above. The report recommends that within each band, the main elements of salary, cash bonus, deferred shares, performance-related [...]
Water Mess!
" I could have sworn there was a pipe here!" Just watch those Water Industry shares go down the toilet! OFWAT has told them that over the next five years, their prices cannot rise higher than 5% below inflation. Scottish Water has also been told to reduce leaks by a third. The worst-hit companies will be those with a coastline because they have the added expense of keeping beaches clean. Plus the Sewer Adoption Scheme is due to go live in April or October 2011. That will hit them [...]
The Brown-Darling Conjecture
There are still six Millennium Prize Problems which remain unsolved. The proof of the Poincaré Conjecture was completed by Grigori Perelman in 2003 and its review completed in 2006. That means that there is room for another insoluble problem and that problem is the current United Kingdom economy. In common with the other Millennium Prize Problems, the UK economy is doubly incomprehensible because not-only has the solution evaded the greatest economic and political minds of the [...]
The Westminster 6
Here are the previously unnamed MPs and Lords whose expense excesses have caused their files to be handed to the Director of Public Prosecutions. They are, from the House of Commons: Elliot Morley, David Chaytor and Jim Devine. From the House of Lords: Lord Hanningfield, Lady Uddin and Lord Clarke. As you know, there has been much more naughtiness that that perpetrated by this "Westminster 6" but they are the ones who allegedly have been most blatant. Of the six, the most likely to be banged [...]
Chilcot’s sponsor
There's only one thing that we all want to know the Chilcott Inquiry to tell us about . The Weapons of Mass Destruction - were they just an illusion?. Was the decision to invade a sovereign state really made on an illusion? Or could it have been a lie? The 2004 Butler Inquiry, or to give it its full title, the Review of Intelligence on Weapons of Mass Destruction (FULL TEXT HERE) was such a whitewash and so many important facts were glossed-over that it is surprising to find that it was [...]
Off with their heads
MPs - The future Police have referred four cases of alleged abuses of parliamentary expenses to the Director of Public Prosecutions but the identities of the four parliamentarians have nor been revealed. The Director of Public Prosecutions is "superintended" by the Attorney General who is Baroness Scotland. A few months ago the Baronness was was fined for hiring a foreign national who did not have permission to work in the United Kingdom. The Police said "a small number" of further [...]
Gordon gives Good Phone
It seems as if Rupert Murdoch's Sun comic has totally misjudged the public's reaction to the attempted drive-by shooting of Gordon Brown through the publishing of his note to Mrs Jacqui Janes and their subsequent telephone conversation. The call from Downing Street was mysteriously recorded by Mrs Janes and in order to milk to death the death of her son Jamie, she has said that she would "be willing" to meet Gordon Brown. Lucky Prime Minister. Presumably this time, she can video his [...]
It will be long and hard.
" We all lose interest after making a deposit and a withdrawal" We are all looking forward to the banking industry's return to communication through facts and figures. In the last year-or-so they have all shown an increased predilection for the medium of the euphemism, metaphor or cliché. The RBS Chief Executive Stephen Hester is our favourite banking boss - a straight-down-the-line guy with whom you can shake hands without having to count your fingers or look for your watch. [...]
Tried “Hotlegging”?
EVEN SOLDIERS PISS ON MONUMENTS Give pees a chance Pissing in public has always been a great student sport. Shop doorways, car parks, lifts, telephone boxes, graveyards and many other quiet venues have had their fair share. The secret is to do it discreetly and quickly. However Philip Laing, a 19-year-old student not only urinated over a poppy-wreath which happened to be on a war memorial but he was photographed doing it. His mum must be so proud - especially as the photo was [...]
Out of the Frying Pan
THE VERY UNDERSTATED GM HEAD OFFICE The General Motors announcement that the deal to sell the company to Canadian spare parts manufacturer Magna went down very well with the unions yesterday morning. That is because Magna had previously announced that after the sale they would be cutting as many as 10,500. The unions' and workers' euphoria was very short-lived because GM has now announced that it will be cutting 10,000 jobs. In addition, the German government is demanding from GM a repayment [...]
Vauxhall-Opel Safe?
VAUXHALL - The future? General Motors has announced that it has changed its mind and that the impending sale of Opel and Vauxhall to Canadian car parts firm Magna will not proceed. It seems that most people are very happy with the last-minute decision. Opel emplys 54,000 pople across Europe and Vauxhall employs 5,500 people in Luton and Ellesmere Port. In spite of promised backing by the German and British governments, there would have been substantial job losses as a result of proposed [...]
The new Ponzi Scheme.
THE BRITISH ECONOMY Twenty months ago, I was the only commentator (to my knowledge) to predict nationalisation of our banks. SEE HERE. Here's another prediction: The Ponzi scheme that is the global economy will soon come crashing down - and it will be quick. Governments everywhere - but especially in the United KIngdom and the United States are bankrupting themselves and destroying paper currency. The crash of the dollar is weeks away. In six years, the dollar is already down one-third [...]
Handouts with Conditions
21st Century Banking The British government said that following improved market conditions and extensive due diligence announced in February, Lloyds will no longer participate in its Asset Protection Scheme and instead will raise additional private sector capital and pay a fee of £2.5 billion to the taxpayer for the protection provided to date. Lloyds has also announced plans to raise £21 billion through a combination of a £13.5 billion rights issue, and £7.5 by swapping existing [...]
Another handout
Darling's unique approach to the banking industry. Alistair Darling is going to announce that the government will spend £30 billion on "buying bank shares". One presumes that it is now called "buying shares" because the government does not want to keep using the word "handout". (By the way, he is not using "our" money. This will be a combination of recently-produced or borrowed money). The government will thus be increasing its equity in the banks and so diluting the share [...]
Freaked Out Over SuperFreakonomics
The following article appeared in the Wall Street Journal on 27th October 2009. It is reproduced here with the kind permission of the author Brett Stephens. Brett writes the Journal's "Global View" column on foreign affairs, which runs every Tuesday in the U.S. and is also published in the European and Asian editions of the paper. In 2004, Brett was named a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum, where he is also a media fellow. (more...)
Back to the Future (again)
There is potentially great news in the banking sector- and about time. The government is to create three new bank chains by selling-off divisions of RBS, Lloyds and Northern Rock. By 2015, our High Streets may once again see old and trusted brands such as the Trustee Savings Bank, Williams & Glyns and Cheltenham & Gloucester. Could this be the best thing that this government has done? It looks like it - but once again, the new policy looks contrary to what Gordon Brown was saying only [...]
Joint-up Government
Two executives at the Royal Bank of Scotland have been suspended after alleged corruption at its overseas mortgage operation. The bankers were allegedly asking foreign estate agents for payments worth tens of thousands of pounds in return for referring customers. Many of the suspected practices have taken place within the last 12 months and since the government bail-out. (more...)
Naughty pirates
DANGER-POLITICIANS NEGOTIATING Who said this? "Piracy and the taking of hostages is unacceptable in any circumstances. We call on those people who have taken the British citizens hostage to release them as soon as possible. They should abide by international law." Those Somali pirates must be really crapping themselves now that Gordon Brown has told them that they should "abide by international law". Gordon, you muppet - these are pirates and NOT abiding by the law is not-only implicit [...]
Didn’t he do well?
" Oh F*** it!" Quite a lot has already been written about the Nimrod crash which killed 14 crew. Charles Haddon-Cave QC who led the enquiry said that the crash happened because because "defence chiefs put cost cuts before safety". He also referred to "a systemic breach of Covenant brought about by significant failures on the part of all those involved." and "a story of incompetence, complacency and cynicism" Mr Haddon-Cave's comments will hopefully be recycled as fitting [...]
Cherie Antoinette.
"Let them eat a lorra lorra cake, chuck." Tony Blair has not yet broken cover and declared an interest in becoming President of Europe. The post will be created once the Czechs have ratified the Treaty of Lisbon. Gordon Brown has made a decision (!) and declared that he will be lobbying on Blair's behalf, should Blair decide to put his name forward. (more...)
Take any card
Credit card companies now appear to be competing not only with each other but with back-street money lenders. If you are in the habit of paying only the minimum monthly payment on your credit card, it could take you up to 50 years to repay the balance. However, the good news is that if you do only repay the minimum, the credit card company is very likely to increase your borrowing limit from time to time. However, if you are one of the naughty people who repays their balance every month, you [...]
FTSE 100-99-98…….
The FTSE 100 index held its value yesterday - that's in spite of the bad economic news and the announcement that the United Kingdom is still very much in recession. The FTSE 100 seems to be almost impervious to any bad data that can be thrown at it. GDP data should have shocked the market because it showed that the UK economy unexpectedly contracted in the third quarter. Sterling tumbled more than a cent against the dollar and gilts jumped. On the face of it - nothing seems to make sense [...]
GDP
We will be hearing the phrase GDP (Gross Domestic Product) more and more over the next few months. Here's what it is: (more...)
Question Slime
"Mr Griffin, stop holding that comb under you nose and do please put your arm down." The British are instinctively racist - and that's in spite of enjoying what is culturally the most diverse population in the world. There has been a growing fascination with the political far-Right since Fascism's heyday of the 1930s. Even King Edward Vlll experienced a certain "frisson" when in the company of either Adolf Hitler or Oswald Mosley. Many of England's ruling classes found a certain [...]
CWU – An Assisted Suicide.
The modern face of Royal Mail So the Royal Mail strike is on. It has been booked to continue for only two days but the fallout will last for the next few weeks. The Royal Mail system will not suddenly right itself after two days of inactivity. Letters, people, vans and parcels will not magically materialise at the depot where they are supposed to be. (more...)
Merv the Wise
"Bless you all. The economy will soon crash land again- so please adopt the correct position. Stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye." (more...)
BNP or not BNP
President Obama has sent John Kerry over to Afghanistan to smack the back of president Hamid Karzai's legs. It appears that the last Afghan election was conducted fraudulently. As a result it would appear that Karzai does not have the minimum 50% of the vote that confirmed him as the rightful winner. The needlessly macho-named Operation Panther's Claw was a waste of time - although it was never clear how a bunch of soldiers (including 10 dead Brits) could make an election "fair" because the [...]
It’s those Banks again
The government shouldn't issue mandatory executive-pay guidelines and although Gordon Brown may think that it's a smart move to somehow link bank executives' pay to share price, he is introducing yet another element of risk. (more...)
That was the week….
"Aren't you one of those Fuzzy-Wuzzies that we've been hearing about?" "Actually, I'm the Mayor of London." "Sorry, Doris." Diwali was celebrated at Downing Street . Members of the Hindu, Sikh, Jain and Buddhist communities were invited to Downing Street to celebrate Diwali, known as the Festival of Lights, which promotes messages of hope and togetherness. Let us hope that the most important Christian Festival is also celebrated and acknowledged by the Prime Minister. Mind you, by next [...]
Spelthorne? Moorlands?
David Witshire MP David Wiltshire, Conservative Member of Parliament for Spelthorne will be sitting outside the headmaster's study this morning. (more...)
Don Gordo speaks
"Just pay the money, you punks. We don't want no accidents, do we? When Tommy the Legg is unhappy - I am unhappy. Think about it. OK so he's a "testa di cazzo" but he's like a brother. Sei niente senza rispetto!". Many MPs just don't want to return any expenses and it seems that Sir Thomas Legg has neither the authority nor any sanctions to apply to this rapidly amplifying problem of parliamentary dissent. Party leaders are showing little management ability and are communicating [...]
A real Legg-up
"I'm as innocent as the next man." The MPs expenses fiasco rumbles on and Parliament's reputation is still heading South. Much was made of the previous Speaker's lack of management skill and consequently he was removed from office. So where is Speaker Bercow? In the last few days, his name has not been mentioned at all. This is the time when he should be earning his salary and TELLING members what they should do. (more...)
Westminster Back to School
"Tell you what - I'll throw-in The Dartford Crossing and Northern Rock" It appears That the Government is about to hold a boot sale. One would like to say that they were selling-off the family silver but unfortunately, that's already gone. Gordon Brown does not have the best record for selling the country's assets- the most well-known being his sale of our gold reserves. He sold at the bottom of the market at somewhere near $200 per pounce CLICK HERE. Today, gold is trading at well [...]
Dave’s Speech
Standing ovation? Inevitable. Interestingly enough, the autocues were not visible. Dave walked on clutching a pile of notes - which was probably a disappointment to those who expected another off-the-cuff session. He told us in true "Honest Dave the Voters' Friend" style that the next few years will be tough. The Honest Dave approach will be contrasted by many with Gordon Brown's style which increasingly resembles that of an ageing Poker player holding his cards ever closer to his chest. [...]
Conservative Party Conference week.
Boris Johnson once again has showed his leadership credentials by being approachable, witty and engaging. He does make the rest of them look a little bit pedestrian. In spite of his shambolic image, you can sense a rod of steel running through both his speech and personality. One to watch for the future. Imagine a TV debate between Boris and Gordon Brown. It will never happen - but what a prospect. Boris Johnson and friend George Osborne's [...]
Friday October 2nd 2009
Ethiopia has suddenly become the focus for all anthropologists. An ancient skeleton was found in 1992 and it has taken 17 years for the research team to rebuild it. Why all the excitement? The skeleton belongs to an in-between species of humanoid about 4.4 million years old. It has been designated Ardipithecus Ramidus. It is not “the missing link” but by extrapolation, it appears that it is probably about 9 million years since the division between apes and humans. So where was John [...]
Thursday October 1st 2009
A survey has just been published of the world's top Broadband Countries - taking into account speed etc. The United Kingdom is languishing in 25th place. The top country? South Korea. Is this another indicator of the rise of the East and the slow eclipse of the West?. The Daily Mirror has adjusted its reportage of the Tories today - presumably in response to the Sun's decision to back the Tories. It's going to be a right mess leading up to the election. The gloves are off [...]
Wednesday September 30th 2009
So the Sun will not be supporting the Labour Party. No real problems there, except the usual one. Why should an Australian like Rupert Murdoch have any say in which newspaper supports which Party. The Sun is read largely by the drooling classes who are very susceptible but regrettably, there is very little that can be done. The Sun’s sister paper , the News of the World, no doubt is poised with some salacious Labour politician scandal ready-to-go. The Sun will not just be [...]
Tuesday September 29th 2009
Interesting statistic which doesn’t appear to be receiving the publicity that it deserves: In the United States, a house is foreclosed or repossessed every 7.5 seconds. As usual, the politicians are taking care of business at the macro-level, while the grass-roots are burning. It is an excellent idea for Gordon Brown to take-on the other two Party leaders in televised debates. Any future Conservative or Liberal vote should be a “pro” Conservative or Liberal vote and not an [...]
Monday September 28th 2009
Excellent headline grabbing by that jug-eared gargoyle Andrew Marr. He is without doubt a supreme journalist but his questioning of Gordon Brown yesterday was inexcusable. Suggesting that Brown needs prescription drugs to get through the day, followed by Brown’s admission that he has trouble with his eyesight was a direction that no journalist should steer. There is a real danger that if the Tory Press goes down the ” Brown’s a sick man and therefore unfit for office” route, there [...]
Sunday September 27th 2009
Just down the road in Brighton THEY are arriving for the Labour Party Conference - or should that be the New Labour Party Conference. Did we elect Labour or NEW LABOUR? Anyway, that’s now just a technicality or a long-forgotten dream of how things could or might have been. Here’s a Labour FACT, given to me by a friend who used to be Chief Barman at the Grand Hotel. More Champagne is consumed at the Labour Party Conference than at all other conferences and he told me stories of vintage [...]
